(no subject)

 

Nikon D700  Sigma 24-70 f/2.8  @70mm  1/200s  f/5.6  ISO200  EXP:-0.7

Три богатыря

 

Всё будет хорошо

 

KR

    * Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography 

    * Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

    * Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his. 

    * Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

    * Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time. 

    * Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is. 

    * Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

    * Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

    * Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one. 

    * Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

    * When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

    * Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

    * Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

    * Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once 

    * Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident. 

    * Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

    * Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

    * Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you 

    * Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure 

    * Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

    * When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it. 

    * Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes 

    * On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

    * Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d" 

    * When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

    * For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers. 

    * Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's. 

    * Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF 

    * Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

    * The term tripod was coined after his silhouette 

    * Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

    * A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

    * Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

    * Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues